


tidal waves

by scenarios (romeas)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Falling Out of Love, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sad bois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24062281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeas/pseuds/scenarios
Summary: “I thought that all the chasing trying to prove my love to you was nothing when you decided to not chase me back - but I was wrong. We are not as in love as we thought, baby. Not anymore.”
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	tidal waves

It’s so hard to keep up. 

It’s so hard to keep up with conversations that were never meant to be started. 

It’s so hard for it to feel so good and warm when you’re aware the other person doesn’t feel the same.

Or they do, but they never say so.

It’s so hard to slowly fall in love while, at the same time, your heart gets colder and colder.

“Isn’t it obvious that I fell for you? I didn’t really know what love felt like. Spent the first three months confused because if you liked me so much, why was it so hard? Why was it so difficult to deal with? My dear, you called me. Baby, in that lovely tone of yours. I always told you how much I loved your voice.”

Sometimes it made him feel mad without any reason. It’s like he was always waiting for the perfect moment to have an argument - and it hurt. It hurt so much he couldn’t handle how his heart was breaking into a million pieces.

The first thing Donghyuck did when he looked in the mirror was sigh. He always looked like a mess - what with his late nights playing videogames and his obsession with energy drinks. It’s not that he specially took care of himself but he never felt this bad.

He looked at the mirror and saw himself bringing his hand to his face. He caressed his cheeks, feeling how oily his skin felt - how there were slight bumps in his skin. His hand moved to his eyes, where they closed to feel the slight touch of his fingertips. They moved until he reached his lips - split and dry. 

When he opened his eyes the first thing that caught his attention was the way his eyes were a deep dark red with a hint of black underneath them. They felt sore, too. 

He blamed the last few nights he spent crying until the sun rose.

Donghyuck closed his eyes and stepped on the shower. He hummed as warm drops of water touched his face and sat on the floor, enjoying the cooling feeling of hot water against his cold skin.

When the bathroom started to fog up he couldn’t help but let out a giggle. _If that wasn’t exactly how he felt._ His mind felt so light as he soaked in the feeling - a clouded mind and warm feelings. They were a good combination until those warm feelings got cold but his mind was so up in the clouds he didn’t realise.

Hot water surrounded him. He slapped both hands against his rosy cheeks to clear his mind and opened his eyes as his hands fell to his lap. He then saw the red patches scattered around his skin. His eyes widened and he rushed to turn the hot water off until he felt the cold drops hitting his back. The water was so cold it burned and the red in his skin was fading out. He looked up and let the water caress his skin.

With a light mind and hooded eyes, he reached out and changed it again. And again.

Eventually, he heard his shower playlist come to and end, meaning he had spent at least thirty minutes in the shower. With a sigh, Donghyuck grabbed the shampoo and started cleaning his hair. The water turned black in seconds.

The first thing Donghyuck did when he got home after breaking up with Jaemin was dye his hair. He couldn’t stand to look at his orange hair any longer - not when he got constantly reminded of how much the other liked it, of how he loved to tell him he was prettier than the sun.

“What is out there prettier than the sun? I don’t think there’s anything that can compare to it.”

“You see, there’s this time of the day. It’s my favourite. Whenever the day is about to end, something happens. The sky gets all fogged up and what was a beautiful blue turns into pink, lilac, even sometimes, orange. It doesn’t really last a lot. Perhaps ten minutes or so. But it’s the prettiest, trust me.”

“The sunset, you mean?”

“A good orange sunset. That’s the only thing that can compare to the sun.”

Donghyuck always had a hard time getting up in the mornings. Jaemin always complained about how he took his sweet time - trying to get those two extra minutes of sleep, clinging to Jaemin’s waist, complaining about the other’s phone alarm. 

Jaemin was an early riser. The moment he heard the birds chirping outside his window, his eyes would open, contemplating the morning light that went through the windows of his room, sighing at the pleasure it brought to him. He always stayed in bed though, especially on winter mornings.

As much as Jaemin liked waking up early to enjoy his morning coffee, with the light cold breeze of the winter caressing his face, he liked Donghyuck more.

He liked waking up with the sun on his eyes and Donghyuck’s face buried on his chest.

He knew it was time to let go.

They didn’t end on bad terms. The thing is, they got so obsessed with saving their relationship they didn’t realise there was nothing left to save.

“I gave all of me,” Donghyuck started, “to the point there was no more to give.”

He looked Jaemin in the eyes as he continued, “We barely noticed the change, don’t you see, my dear? We stopped questioning why we got so distant, I stopped questioning why I never got that message back — stopped waiting for you to pick me up.” 

“I have to admit, though, that I was so angry at first. I didn’t realise we were doing this to each other. I thought that, maybe, you didn’t love me as much as I did — that you stopped loving me. There was a time I couldn’t deal with the whole situation, it was too much for me.”

“I tried to picture you as the bad one — because of course you were. I was hurting while you kept on going with your life as if nothing happened. I saw you everyday, waking up in my arms, smiling at me through the sleep in your eyes while i was hurting so much — and it broke me.”

“I thought that all the chasing trying to prove my love to you was nothing when you decided to not chase me back - but I was wrong. We are not as in love as we thought, baby. Not anymore.”

Jaemin stared at him for what felt the longest time. At some point, he decided to approach Donghyuck, his fingers tracing his facial features — his cheeks, his eyes, his nose, until they reached his lips. 

Donghyuck couldn’t do anything but wonder what was going on through Jaemin’s mind. Donghyuck’s eyes fell closed because he couldn’t bear to look at him as he was waiting for his response. 

His eyes stayed closed as Jaemin said, “One of the things that bothered me was that I was so scared to hurt you.” He offered him a sad smile he didn’t get to see. “I overthink everything I do, darling, because I'm terrified.”

His fingers were still resting on Donghyuck’s lips. “I’m so terrified to lose you but I guess that’s what ruined it all. I was so scared to give you my heart I lost you.” 

A laugh left Jaemin’s lips and Donghyuck’s eyes opened, startled. “I lost myself in you and then I lost you.”

Donghyuck was left speechless. “I love you," he said. Jaemin got impossibly closer until their noses touched, “And I love you," he replied, as their lips touched.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!!
> 
> leave kudos n comments if u liked it :]
> 
> talk to me on [cc](https://curiouscat.me/mixtape4) or [twt](https://twitter.com/whinymark)


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